latina-girls-yes wrote:in the interests of adding to this discussion the perspective of someone who has never employed a sex worker, has no intention to in the future, and has never even wanted to, the main reason for my not wanting to is that the primary reason i have for wanting to spend time in the company of a woman (and all the potential physical relations that may follow from that) is that she likes me. that she considers me as someone attractive to her in some way (intellectually, physically, for my values or behaviour, or for any other reasons connected to who i am as an individual).
who a person is at any point in time in their life, is their entire life's work. what they have done, where they have been, who they have spent time with and how they have interacted with others, what they have learned, their experiences, achievements and failures, and so on. that makes you who you are and who people see you as.
so if a woman were to say to me "no, nothing at all about you interests me at all, and under normal circustances i wouldn't even give you the time of day, but if you give me xx dollars/pounds/euros then i will have sex with you" i could only find that totally humiliating and demeaning, and consequently a huge turn off (that may appeal to those of a masochistic persuasion, but i'm not one of them)
in sum, if the only reason a woman would be prepared to have sex with me is if i paid her, i wouldn't want to have sex with her and i wouldn't be able to have sex with her, because if i felt no desire obviously i wouldn't be able to go through with the physical process. that's the paradox, and that's why i have never would seek the services of an escort
it's certainly not that i look down on sex workers as people or don't respect the work sex workers do. i like the term sex workers because it stresses that they are workers like everyone else who works to earn their living, and so deserving of the same respect as every other worker who contributes to keeping society going.
and i also absolutely support all efforts to improve the situation of sex workers worldwide; that they should have access to the healthcare they need as a consequence of working in the industry they do (as every worker should), that they be protected in law from exploitation (as every worker should be), and so on
it's just that basic thing of if they don't like me and will only have sex with me if i pay them, i don't feel any significant sexual attraction to them (even though sex workers are often extremely attractive). that's the sine qua non
i will also add, that as a consumer of xxx content and a consumer of culture in general, i find myself extremely attracted to the idea and the fantasy of prostitues. i like them as characters in the media, and i like the idea of what they do and what they signify as a presence in society (lust, desire, excitement behind closed doors)
the expression 'the oldest profession in the world' is not a meaningless phrase. there's a reason why it may well be the case, and i really value the challenge to the hypocrisy of so-called 'decent society' it's eternal presence just behind the curtain signifies. empires, religions, societies may rise and fall, but prostitution is always with us. it reminds us that for all our pretensions to being the master species, and demanding the rest of the natural world be forever bent to our will and subservient to us, we are - in so many ways - just overdressed animals fallering ourselves with delusions of grandeur
so i thought it would be interesting to add that perspective (and the reasoning for my perspective) to this thread, to see if others feel the same, or once felt the same and have changed their mind over time, or have never thought about the whole issue in these terms
and i will close by saying that on reading through some of the comments in this thread, i'm not sure if i feel envy of those who don't have the feelings i do that mean i can't participate in the exchanges they do. i think i do. but i am who i am and i feel the way i do, and so i can't get on the merry-go-around as they do, as much fun as i'm sure it is
Thank you for your contribution. And honestly speaking i was waiting for someone to step in here and bring your point of view. You´re not alone, i think you represent the majority of the male population. And i fully respect it. From what i understand, also having had lots of deep conversations on this topic in the past: you like to have that whole thing, that good thing. And there´s others who can enjoy these little bad things. It requires the ability to detache the joy of a pure sex act from feelings you have in a relationship.
As you been asking it in your post…i do in deed know someone who has reflected this rather like you in the past but after trying his first escort he completely changed his mind.
but i need to reschedule a few things to meet her as she´s leaving the city mid of next week. told her to come back beginning of next week.
