Is pornography a time thief?

[netzerkaiser]

Is pornography a time thief? My own opinion is that it can be depending on its use. If you can use it to counter hopelessly idealistic visions like in pre-raphaelite art, yes, it can help stop you from going Bruckner-like (the composer) obsessive over the girl you saw once on the bus etc... but on the other hand can lead you into too much time spent on bullshit. I edited original post, I suppose it was giving too much away about myself... but I think in summary, for romantics, pornography can be a real positive in the sense it can help stop you idealising over a particular lady at a given time... the key then is to stop it taking over too much of your free time. Its a tricky one.

[Pineapples Studio]

It's a potent outlet for the sexual energy of millions of men and women across the globe, which is certainly interesting if you think about it.

[netzerkaiser]

Thank you, Brother.

[Jocke]

It's a potent outlet for the sexual energy of millions of men and women across the globe, which is certainly interesting if you think about it.

I calculated that the viewers just watching Riley Reid on PornHub had ejaculated an equal to 1 1/2 olympic size swimming pool!
She has 1.3B views on PH alone. Average male ejaculation is 4ml on average which is twice as much as the guys at LP.
I think we can safely assume that half of the world's male population have seen her fuck. The rest may not have an internet connection!

[Wotan29]

I calculated that the viewers just watching Riley Reid on PornHub had ejaculated an equal to 1 1/2 olympic size swimming pool!
She has 1.3B views on PH alone. Average male ejaculation is 4ml on average which is twice as much as the guys at LP.
I think we can safely assume that half of the world's male population have seen her fuck. The rest may not have an internet connection!

(Especially the part with the LP guys...)

[sarsastrid]

No it isn't.
Or would you rather spend your Sunday afternoon with your parents in law drinking tea and talking about the weather...

[Pineapples Studio]

I will say that I was getting very bored simply watching porn and probably wouldn't still be here if I never made the jump into production.

Starting to get bored again just sitting and watching, though...

[netzerkaiser]

I know, its a hard one. But maybe an hour a night, no collateral damage, is ok... in contrast I see lads younger than me, & often better looking, rushed up to A&E with wife fat as barndoor / ugly as fu*k 'cos 2nd child has flu... & I think, do I really need that? Its all about managing it.

[Jocke]

I will say that I was getting very bored simply watching porn and probably wouldn't still be here if I never made the jump into production.

Starting to get bored again just sitting and watching, though...

I try to let my sexlife be influenced by what I watch. This farshe has come to enjoy most of my suggestions.

[Jocke]

I think porn can be unhealthy if you don't have a regular sex life. Sure I watched porn long before I got a partner but at that time it wasn't available 24/7.

I am also wary that getting engaged in certain performers can mess with your brain. These girls are just doing a job. Even when they reply on social media they are at work. They are not interested in you. It is an exchange of money for sexual images.

While they are people with feelings and deserve respect, the trend towards closeness with performers is not good. Keep your fantasies separate from your real life. It is tempting for performers to play with the feelings of their fans. Stay away.

[Pineapples Studio]

I actually have the complete opposite philosophy about integrating porn into your personal sex life, which is to say, I don't think it's a very good idea.

In fact, y'all want to hear something crazy? I'm about to admit something that may shock you.

The truth is that I don't actually prefer anal IRL. It's not bad, and sometimes it's pretty great, but it's never as appealing to me as pussy. Now, don't get me wrong; I do love anal in porn. In fact, for a number of reasons, I think anal is ideal for porn. (For one thing, it's still taboo for the average person, but anyone who watches LP regularly has moved well beyond that point... but even for us, anal is still more submissive for the female partner, more dominant for the male partner, takes more "work" and dedication to do well, looks more impressive on camera, and is something that many of you aren't getting very often in your personal lives.)

However, porn is a visual and psychological medium which lacks the physical element of intimacy and sensation that you get with real sex, so it's not very good as a source of sexual education. In real life, anal is often quite awkward and uncomfortable for your partner, and it takes a lot of advance prep time and (IMO) doesn't feel any better than a pussy anyway. It depends on your partner, of course, and I've been with girls who loved anal so much you'd have to be an idiot not to fuck them in the ass, but as a general rule these things do hold true. Many of the positions that look good on camera aren't very fun in real life either, so for reasons and many others, I don't use porn as a source of inspiration in my personal sex life.

Yes, I did just admit to liking pussy more than ass. You can pick your jaws up off the floor now. The funny part is that, in most places, it would be seen as a perfectly normal thing to say that. Just not here.

[netzerkaiser]

You are so right. Your insight is genuinely profound, your honesty too.

[101mike101]

I actually have the complete opposite philosophy about integrating porn into your personal sex life, which is to say, I don't think it's a very good idea.

In fact, y'all want to hear something crazy? I'm about to admit something that may shock you.

The truth is that I don't actually prefer anal IRL. It's not bad, and sometimes it's pretty great, but it's never as appealing to me as pussy. Now, don't get me wrong; I do love anal in porn. In fact, for a number of reasons, I think anal is ideal for porn. (For one thing, it's still taboo for the average person, but anyone who watches LP regularly has moved well beyond that point... but even for us, anal is still more submissive for the female partner, more dominant for the male partner, takes more "work" and dedication to do well, looks more impressive on camera, and is something that many of you aren't getting very often in your personal lives.)

However, porn is a visual and psychological medium which lacks the physical element of intimacy and sensation that you get with real sex, so it's not very good as a source of sexual education. In real life, anal is often quite awkward and uncomfortable for your partner, and it takes a lot of advance prep time and (IMO) doesn't feel any better than a pussy anyway. It depends on your partner, of course, and I've been with girls who loved anal so much you'd have to be an idiot not to fuck them in the ass, but as a general rule these things do hold true. Many of the positions that look good on camera aren't very fun in real life either, so for reasons and many others, I don't use porn as a source of inspiration in my personal sex life.

Yes, I did just admit to liking pussy more than ass. You can pick your jaws up off the floor now. The funny part is that, in most places, it would be seen as a perfectly normal thing to say that. Just not here.

I'd say the biggest difference between porn and real life is that in porn you have professionals and in real life you have amateurs. And of course, professionals are a lot better at it, than amateurs are.

I agree that you can't become good at it just by watching some videos. It takes a lot of practice and learning from mistakes, before you become good at anything.

But just because some people are a lot better at it than you are doesn't mean that you shouldn't learn from these people and try to become at least half as good as they are.

I'd say that the biggest problem with learning from porn and trying to do some of the stuff they do is that your amateur sex-partner might not be as interested and as willing to do this kind of stuff as you are. It's basically a problem of having an incompatible partner, rather than something wrong with being sexually adventurous and learning from porn.

Men often watch porn a lot more than women. And this where the problem with learning from porn comes. A lot of women aren't into this kind of stuff. And you might end up with relationship problems because you are into it and she isn't.

[timschnier67]

Pornography is definitely a time thief, because when I watch porn, I can't do anything else but rubbing my sweet and sexy pussy.

[Jocke]

Yes, I did just admit to liking pussy more than ass. You can pick your jaws up off the floor now.

I have thought about bringing this up, because the answer is not obvious.

In my experience the feeling/sensation is quite different. The ass squeeze a lot at the entrance and not very much further in except for at the first push to open up. A pussy doesn't squeeze at all at the entrance but further in, mostly somewhere around the g-spot. At least for the women I have fucked. Maybe your experience is different?

One of the consequences is that if you are pounding with full thrust analy, your dick head get too little squeeze for you to come, which sometimes can be a good thing. During pussy fucking it is easier to come and I have seen enough porn to conclude that many guys doing anal need to do some pussy fucking to get to the point of ejaculation when they switch back to make an anal cream pie.

During anal you can switch between having just the head inside the sphincter and get a lot of stimulation or going all in and get that nice squeeze around the root which keeps the dick hard.

I have to admit though that sometimes I have difficulty to come during anal even if it is my favorite cavity. I typically pull out and wank a few times and then creampie. Going to the p inbetween is a no-no in my household.

In private I recommend to stay away from going from anal to pussy without rinsing if you don't want a pussy infection.

If you manage hygiene I think fucking both ass and pussy is as normal as fucking in several positions and it adds to variety.

I like missionary (a&p) with legs pulled back, is there a name for this position? Then sideways one leg up. This is the deepest you can get. Then a bit of standing doggy. Then "lazy girlfriend" or prone bone. I often start with butt plug play and licking then pussy with the plug in then anal with a vibrator on the clit. I have varied over the years and I guess I will get new favorites.

[Elodie]

No it isn't.
Or would you rather spend your Sunday afternoon with your parents in law drinking tea and talking about the weather...

Exactly this.

[Pineapples Studio]

I agree that you can't become good at it just by watching some videos. It takes a lot of practice and learning from mistakes, before you become good at anything.

But just because some people are a lot better at it than you are doesn't mean that you shouldn't learn from these people and try to become at least half as good as they are.

You're missing the point, though. Porn doesn't teach good sexual practices. What you're watching is an exaggerated version of real-world sex. It's something like a cross between a stage play and an athletic competition, and while it's true that the performers are well trained in the craft, it's not the same thing as real-world sex.

Taking sex tips from porn is like taking work advice from The Office.

I'd say that the biggest problem with learning from porn and trying to do some of the stuff they do is that your amateur sex-partner might not be as interested and as willing to do this kind of stuff as you are. It's basically a problem of having an incompatible partner, rather than something wrong with being sexually adventurous and learning from porn.

Men often watch porn a lot more than women. And this where the problem with learning from porn comes. A lot of women aren't into this kind of stuff. And you might end up with relationship problems because you are into it and she isn't.

No.

You can get ideas from porn (for example, the idea to try anal), but you shouldn't try to do it the way it's done in the video. That's bad advice.

[davebowman]

No it isn't.
Or would you rather spend your Sunday afternoon with your parents in law drinking tea and talking about the weather...

Amen to that. Real-life relationships kill much more time than porn (unless you are watching several hours a night).

There are lots of bonuses to having a partner, but the downsides are considerable: I used to have to spend so much time visiting family members I wasn't interested in, watching films I didn't care about, going to places and doing things I'd rather not have bothered with, plus often spending plenty of cash in the process. Now my time is 100% mine to spend as I see fit - including how much time a night on sex (even if it's the one-handed kind).

[netzerkaiser]

No it isn't.
Or would you rather spend your Sunday afternoon with your parents in law drinking tea and talking about the weather...

Amen to that. Real-life relationships kill much more time than porn (unless you are watching several hours a night).

There are lots of bonuses to having a partner, but the downsides are considerable: I used to have to spend so much time visiting family members I wasn't interested in, watching films I didn't care about, going to places and doing things I'd rather not have bothered with, plus often spending plenty of cash in the process. Now my time is 100% mine to spend as I see fit - including how much time a night on sex (even if it's the one-handed kind).

Dave, kudos - all I wanted to say, but couldn't verbalise like you have.

[Pineapples Studio]

Y'all just need to find better partners.

[berrocal815]

Pornography doesn't have to steal your time as long as you use it moderately. Using porn webcams to hang out or watch videos is not the same as being addicted and online all the time. Each one consumes his time in what he likes and generates pleasure. The problem comes when you don't do it for pleasure but for vice or addiction

[Elodie]

Well Sunday afternoon is coming up again.
Decisions to make.
Surfin' porn all day or spend a boring afternoon at your parents in law.
Choose wisely.

[anallycockedup]

Who really cares if it is or not? I plan my free time around watching porn an masturbating. I occasionally go on dates and hang out with friends, just so people will think I am normal. If I want real sex, I just pay for it. I'm a total pornosexual and proud of it. I was married to a woman once, but that shit wasn't for me, she got in the way of my porn watching.

[netzerkaiser]

Who really cares if it is or not? I plan my free time around watching porn an masturbating. I occasionally go on dates and hang out with friends, just so people will think I am normal. If I want real sex, I just pay for it. I'm a total pornosexual and proud of it. I was married to a woman once, but that shit wasn't for me, she got in the way of my porn watching.

What an honest guy you are, no pretence, no bullshit.

[Elodie]

Who really cares if it is or not? I plan my free time around watching porn an masturbating. I occasionally go on dates and hang out with friends, just so people will think I am normal. If I want real sex, I just pay for it. I'm a total pornosexual and proud of it. I was married to a woman once, but that shit wasn't for me, she got in the way of my porn watching.

Well said!

[101mike101]

Who really cares if it is or not? I plan my free time around watching porn an masturbating. I occasionally go on dates and hang out with friends, just so people will think I am normal. If I want real sex, I just pay for it. I'm a total pornosexual and proud of it. I was married to a woman once, but that shit wasn't for me, she got in the way of my porn watching.

I think this pornosexual thing is the result of double standards in society for men and for women. Because women are expected and are indoctrinated to be more proper and good, than guys. So, there is a big disconnect between women and guys, when it comes to having sex and relationships.

This double standard in society probably breaks more marriages and relationships than anything else. Because it makes men and women incompatible with each other.

Porn and marriage don't actually need to be mutually exclusive. Because some porn-stars and porn-studs are married to each other or to someone outside of porn, even while they are performing in porn. These couples have overcome social double standards, and that's why it works for them. Men and women are on the same wavelength in these relationships.

But of course, not all women believe in and abide by the sexual standards they've been brought up to obey. Female porn-stars are one big exception. At least on film, these ladies are on the same wavelength as the guys are, including the porn-fans watching them. That's why porn-watching is so attractive for guys. These are the women guys really want, not just in terms of looks, but also in terms of their sexual behavior with guys like them.

Porn is one place, where you don't have double standards anymore. Hot women are just as much sluts, as their guys are studs.

But porn isn't the only place where you can find such mentally liberated women. I can say from my own experience, that women who do it for pay, often behave with guys like sluts, just as much as their guys are studs. So, there is no disconnect anymore, when you do it with her.

This is especially true when you come back to nail the same chick with your dick again and again. Because your first time with her can be a bit awkward at first. You are still strangers and getting to know each other. But once you become familiar with each other, then you don't even think twice about grabbing her pussy and tits. It's all in good fun between you and her.

You just need to make sure that it's actually fun for her too, and you aren't hurting her or making it uncomfortable for her by being too rough with her. Which is common sense. But it's not always obvious. Because a dry condom can really hurt the lady. And you wouldn't necessarily know about it. The lady does it for pay. Which makes her reluctant to say that you are doing it wrong.

So, you need to go an extra mile to make it good for the lady. Or else even your experience with the lady for pay might not turn out to be so good.

[viewer2]

I don't think I am able to elaborate as much as the poster just before me, but to me the answer to the original question (is pornography a time thief?) is definitely YES.

You watch porn, you get used to it, you get bored watching the type of porn you were watching years ago, you look for something different (more extreme, filmed differently etc) and you spend time looking for it!!

[101mike101]

I don't think I am able to elaborate as much as the poster just before me, but to me the answer to the original question (is pornography a time thief?) is definitely YES.

You watch porn, you get used to it, you get bored watching the type of porn you were watching years ago, you look for something different (more extreme, filmed differently etc) and you spend time looking for it!!

I agree that watching porn isn't satisfying by itself. Because this is like fantasizing about taking some hot chick with your dick, but never actually doing it.

You end up wasting time on it, because this is like a hungry man who always thinks about food, but never gets enough to eat. Your mind is always on the food.

It's the same with any unsatisfied need, including the sexual need. If you never get sexual satisfaction, then your mind is always on it, and you waste your time like that.

And the solution to this problem is obvious. The hungry man needs to eat enough to satisfy his hunger and stop wasting his time thinking about food. And watching porn should be an inspiration for your own penetration with some like-minded lady.

Such ladies are hard to find in some social circles. But ladies who do it for pay often provide a porn-like experience for guys. Because such ladies often watch some porn on their own to find out what guys want with them and see how other women actually do it with guys.

Porn doesn't work as sex-education for ordinary men and women, because double standards in society make many women incompatible with that. But women who do it for pay are an exception to this. Porn often is both an inspiration and sex-education for such women and their guys.

[viewer2]

And the solution to this problem is obvious. The hungry man needs to eat enough to satisfy his hunger and stop wasting his time thinking about food. And watching porn should be an inspiration for your own penetration with some like-minded lady.

Such ladies are hard to find in some social circles. But ladies who do it for pay often provide a porn-like experience for guys. Because such ladies often watch some porn on their own to find out what guys want with them and see how other women actually do it with guys.

I am not sure I would agree with you on that.

First of all, reproducing what you see in porn in your private life is nearly impossible, because, as you say, most women will refuse many things and this will lead to frustration. So, better not to expect a porn-like sex in your private life in the first place.

Second, even with women who do it for money, it's very difficult to act as in porn. A long time ago, I've been a couple of times with pornstars who were escorting and most of them were far from performing as well as in porn. And even when they were, then it was me who different than in porn: I'm not like the male talents here in LP, I'm not able to stay hard like cement for hours, I find DP much more difficult to achieve in reality than it looks like in porn... etc, etc.

So, my conclusion is that porn is porn (and is theater) and your private life should remain your private life... there will always be some elements which will remain because what you have seen was so powerful that it remains in you, but reproducing it should not and cannot be a goal.

[101mike101]

And the solution to this problem is obvious. The hungry man needs to eat enough to satisfy his hunger and stop wasting his time thinking about food. And watching porn should be an inspiration for your own penetration with some like-minded lady.

Such ladies are hard to find in some social circles. But ladies who do it for pay often provide a porn-like experience for guys. Because such ladies often watch some porn on their own to find out what guys want with them and see how other women actually do it with guys.

When you are doing it for your own pleasure, rather than for show, then porn is just an inspiration. You don't need to do it exactly the same way you've seen it in porn. This is just common sense.

And I agree that doing it for real with a woman is different from watching someone else do it. This is common sense too.

You can't become good at something, just by watching someone else do it. So, you might have some pretty good porn-related fantasies that you've seen other guys do. But when you try to do it yourself, then chances are that at first you won't be very good at it.

It's like you need to crawl, before you can walk, even if you've already seen plenty of other people walk around you.

But the thing about ladies who do it for pay, is that they are often very accommodating, and they let you learn with them. So, if you don't give up right away, then eventually you probably will be able to pound away like that porn-stud, whom you've seen nail the hot lady like a slut.

In porn, it's the guys who usually perform and not the ladies. Because you often get inexperienced, young hot chicks who are new in porn. And this is a turn on, rather than a turn off. Because experienced studs come and nail the new hot lady's bum.

One big reason why porn is so attractive is because it shows you many hot ladies, who are sexually active. There is always a new hot chick, who really excites your dick. And that's how it often is with ladies who do it for pay. This is also a porn-like experience.

[hjohjole]

Only the porn that is boring is a waste of time.

[dap-addict]

I this it really depends. Its like with all slightly or more addictive things you use to make life nicer.
I watch a lot of porn during my job on the side as a kind of stress relief. It fits my online work perfectly well usually and makes it all more easy and pleasurably.

As for transferring porn to RL sex life I'd rather side with Mr. Ananas than 101mike here. Porn gives you new ideas what to explore but RL sex has much more emotional content really and I frankly dont wanna put off girls I am truly interested in on another level. I think its better to keep that apart generally. Only exception are porn girl escorts, indeed, but thats a whole different story. Those who tried a few offers out will probably agree that usually they dont hold what they advertise with.

Just generally I think we have to learn not to hurt real peoples feelings be it here, on social media or face-to-face. Girls want respect first, its really just a job for most of them, although its a demanding one. For me in my job demanding in another way then their job, porn is often just entertainment in the back, like music in the back. Music as well gets registered in a complete other mind set. We just have to be aware of that.

[101mike101]

....As for transferring porn to RL sex life I'd rather side with Mr. Ananas than 101mike here. Porn gives you new ideas what to explore but RL sex has much more emotional content really and I frankly dont wanna put off girls I am truly interested in on another level. I think its better to keep that apart generally. Only exception are porn girl escorts, indeed, but thats a whole different story. Those who tried a few offers out will probably agree that usually they dont hold what they advertise with. ....

I think you are missing the point of what this discussion is about. Pornosexual is real phenomenon in western societies. And it is a kind of alienation between men and women.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/arti ... l-one.html
https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/4069518 ... line-porn/

I was responding to the quote below:

Who really cares if it is or not? I plan my free time around watching porn an masturbating. I occasionally go on dates and hang out with friends, just so people will think I am normal. If I want real sex, I just pay for it. I'm a total pornosexual and proud of it. I was married to a woman once, but that shit wasn't for me, she got in the way of my porn watching.

Pornosexuals have given up on marriage and stuff like that. But as anallycockedup says above, he still has real sex with women who do it for pay.

I agree that having sex with ladies who do it for pay can also be a disappointing experience. But usually it's the guy and not the lady who is responsible for that. Because in such a situation, it's usually the guy and not the lady who is less experienced.

But not being experienced and not doing it well is something you can improve with practice and learning from practice.

In porn, virtually every hot chick who agrees to take hard dick can become a porn-star. There is no such thing as the lady not being able to perform. Because she isn't the one who is performing. It's the guys who are performing with her.

But when it comes to guys becoming porn-studs, then most don't make it, even when they try. I think this is because a lot of guys try to do it without much preparation and practice. You can improve and become better at it. And ladies who do it for pay are the ones to learn with.

I think it's natural for guys to be defensive and blame the lady, when their encounter with her doesn't go well. That's why guys often give up and don't try anymore. And that's why they never learn and improve.

So, you need to have a realistic mind-set and recognize that nailing a hot chick with your dick isn't as easy as it looks. You need to do it many times, recognize your inadequacies and mistakes, and learn from them. And the good thing about the ladies who do it for pay is that they will work with you, even when you aren't that good with them.

I also think it's unfortunate that you need to choose between having an emotional connection or having good sex. There is a double standard in society that makes most women less sexual than men. So, there is a big imbalance in many marriages and romantic relationships. You can get a great emotional connection alright. But this connection is often frustrating and unsatisfying. Because you don't get to have enough sex to go along with that.

[dap-addict]

I think you are missing the point of what this discussion is about. Pornosexual is real phenomenon in western societies. And it is a kind of alienation between men and women.
(...)
Pornosexuals have given up on marriage and stuff like that. But as anallycockedup says above, he still has real sex with women who do it for pay.

I agree that having sex with ladies who do it for pay can also be a disappointing experience. But usually it's the guy and not the lady who is responsible for that. Because in such a situation, it's usually the guy and not the lady who is less experienced.
(...)
I also think it's unfortunate that you need to choose between having an emotional connection or having good sex. There is a double standard in society (...) you don't get to have enough sex to go along with that.

Not sure OP was about pornosexuals as such. But the poster you quote is an example for a pornosexual, true.

About payed sex I think you have an idealized picture, really. Except if you frequent the same lady for some longer time buying her time and service(s). As I said its another subject and better dealt with in escort forums actually, but generally there is many porn girls just trying to cash in on their little fame while doing not much really at work.
Of course you can blame that on the guy(s) booking her services, but its not as one-sided. You seem to think a good civilian fucker will get a good service and a bad or less experienced one will get a bad service. Very idealistic view!

Next thing you seem to reduce: I wanst talking about marriage at all - that pornosexual poster did it. I wanst even talking about bf/gf relationship. All I was referring to is any kind of RL emotional connection. Can be a ONS after a nice hang out at a party for a few hours, can be something lasting longer, but still no monogamous relationship. Its entirely up to each of us to limit or broaden the number to emotionally connected sex partners.
Besides I think one of the problems relationships in age of internet face is so many guys wanting to transfer porn to their relationship, make their wf/gf watch it with them etc. It sure depends on your RL partner, but I'd rather still keep my mainly work related entertainment out of her. The same way we may listen to different kind of music, dont like always the same films etc.

Anyway, I think porn is not very good for educational reasons to get better in bed or learn to hold back your goo at least. Better in bed you get with different RL partners, not watching porn. Pornography at least for me is mainly entertainment and stress relief at work. And ofc its a kind a hobby, too. Anyway, I think it helps a lot to realize that pornography is business and thus work basically, its selling fantasies and fantasies sold. Its something you can use to make life more pleasurable but to be sustainable and responsible really you have to consider all sides involved. Same with your example of that lady offering sex for pay. Whatever my reason to pay her, she should offer what she advertised at one hand - and on the other I understand she doenst wanna work hard really. But who always wants to?

[dap-addict]

I edited original post, I suppose it was giving too much away about myself... but I think in summary, for romantics, pornography can be a real positive in the sense it can help stop you idealising over a particular lady

Re-reading OP and its nothing about pornosexuals.
All I see is rater typical RL situation outside of net.
Anyway, strange start of that thread a bit. As I said for me its not a time killer, but a good entertainment mainly at work. Personally I'd rather not use porn as a counter-agent to romantic feelings.
But maybe I got OP wrong here. What did you wanna say, netzerkaiser?

[101mike101]

.... Anyway, I think porn is not very good for educational reasons to get better in bed or learn to hold back your goo at least. Better in bed you get with different RL partners, not watching porn. ...

I think you just need to understand the limitations of what you can learn from porn and how.

Porn-stars and porn-studs are like sexual athletes. Because they are professionals in what they do. And they've had a lot of practice in performing various advanced and difficult sex-acts. They are much better at it, than ordinary unpracticed people are. And it's unrealistic to expect that you will be able to perform the same sex acts that you see in porn videos as well as the porn-studs and their porn-sluts do.

Porn films also often don't show the lady's foreplay and preparation. So, you can be under a false impression that this doesn't need to be done. And this can be one of the reasons why your experiences with ladies for pay don't work so well. Just because the lady is doing it for pay, doesn't mean that she doesn't need any foreplay. Pay or no pay, sex still works the same way.

These are the limitations of learning from porn. But on the other hand, porn does show you some advanced and difficult sex-acts, such as anal, double-penetration, and various sex-positions that might be hard to get into. So, it can teach you a thing or two about what to do.

You just shouldn't expect to be good at it right away just from seeing someone else do it. This also a limitation of learning from porn. But it can also be fun in a way too.

Because when you try to go anal on a lady, who doesn't have much experience with doing that. Then you need to use lots of lube and do it very slowly. It can take you a long time to penetrate her ass. And then you need to wait, until she gets used to your penetrate. So, you can actually spend some time with your cock inside her ass and play around with her tits or masturbate her clit for fun.

This is very different from what you see in porn movies. But different doesn't necessarily mean worse. Because you end up having a lot of very intimate body-to-body contact with the lady in this situation. And it lasts for a long time too. Because you are very slow on the anal plow, and most of your enjoyment comes from playing around with the lady's pussy and tits and having a lot of body-to-body contact with her.

Anal sex can be a very intimate experience, not just for guys, but for ladies too. And this is what one study has found in interviews of ordinary women who have anal sex with guys. Women report anal sex as more intimate than vaginal. And this is one of the reasons why they like it.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.10 ... 014-0367-2

But of course, not all women like anal sex. And a lot of women dislike it, because they report it as painful and uncomfortable. Which is probably a sign, that their guys didn't understand the limitations of learning from porn and tried to do it, the way porn-studs do it, hard and fast. Which made it painful for the lady, who wasn't used to doing this kind of stuff.

So, you can learn good things and bad things from porn, depending on how much understanding or misunderstanding you have.

Watching anal porn can motivate you to do anal with some hot lady you like. Porn is good for getting your anal interest and desire going. So, you can get it up for the chick, when she spreads her ass for your dick. But then you need to understand the limitation of inexperienced penetration and do something different from porn, as I've described above.

Porn can be both motivational and educational. It gets you up and going for the lady's ass, or something like that. But then you need to recognize the limitations of learning from porn and be careful how you take her sexy butt, so that it's an intimate experience for her, rather than a painful one.

[Pineapples Studio]

In my experience the feeling/sensation is quite different. The ass squeeze a lot at the entrance and not very much further in except for at the first push to open up. A pussy doesn't squeeze at all at the entrance but further in, mostly somewhere around the g-spot. At least for the women I have fucked. Maybe your experience is different?

Yes, anal has the “balloon knot” effect, where it’s really tight at the opening, but not very sensual past that. It can be fun and there’s a place for it, but generally I do prefer pussy. (In real life, I mean. I’m not talking about porn.)

One of the consequences is that if you are pounding with full thrust analy, your dick head get too little squeeze for you to come, which sometimes can be a good thing. During pussy fucking it is easier to come and I have seen enough porn to conclude that many guys doing anal need to do some pussy fucking to get to the point of ejaculation when they switch back to make an anal cream pie.

Yeah, but I like to cum. Don’t you?

Anal is an occasional treat in my private life. It adds variety in the bedroom and if you do it right, it can be really nice for both you and your partner, but it takes a lot of preparation and it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do. I’ve only been with my current girlfriend for a few months, so we haven’t exactly got our sexual rhythm set in stone just yet, but I’ve only done anal with her twice so far and we fuck almost every single day, so there you have it.

Sex in real life is a totally different ball of wax from porn sex, at least for me. That’s just the way it is.

[Jocke]

I’ve only been with my current girlfriend for a few months, so we haven’t exactly got our sexual rhythm set in stone just yet, but I’ve only done anal with her twice so far and we fuck almost every single day, so there you have it.

We noted you were absent for some time,lol!

[Eloise]

Let me put it this way: some of us like hiking, some of us like to collect stamps and some of us like to surf porn all day.
Nothing wrong with it. It's usually OTHER people who don't share your hobby trying to make you spend your day differently.

[Pineapples Studio]

I’ve only been with my current girlfriend for a few months, so we haven’t exactly got our sexual rhythm set in stone just yet, but I’ve only done anal with her twice so far and we fuck almost every single day, so there you have it.

We noted you were absent for some time,lol!

I’ve actually known her since we were kids. We went to elementary school together & she even lived in my neighborhood. We reconnected last year through work. I always thought she was cute, but we were never actually that close before, so it was kind of like I was getting to know her for the first time, yet we still have all these great common experiences and reference points.