rocchardchap wrote:Stepdaughter's Dream
Part 1: Fully Developed
Gio could feel it every time Alena was near. The small and shy little girl that came into his life when he married her mother was now tall, confident, and fully-breasted with a round and firm ass. Like her mother, Alena always took the opportunity to expose a generous amount of cleavage which drove her male classmates and stepfather's friends horny as fuck. She also made sure to wear tight shorts and skirts that showed off her firm legs and ass that would jiggle and vibrate anytime she walked.
She started to confide in Gio that she while had boyfriends before, none of them were able to please her. She wanted something...more. Gio could see Alena was unhappy as she approached her 18th birthday. Gio then asked her what she wanted on her special day. "Well..."
I think fan-fiction about porn-stars and porn-studs can be interesting to read if it reveals to the reader what the characters are thinking and feeling and what their intentions are. It's all the stuff that you can't show on film, but you can talk about in a book.
The way you've started your story above is basically similar to a camera looking at a scene from outside. It doesn't show the people's inner world. It only shows people from outside. So, it's just like a filmed scene described in words. Which would be okay as a script for movie. But it's frustrating to read as a story. Because such a story is a lot easier and better to see on film than to read in a book.
The main attraction of word action is that it can reveal and show you the things that you can't see on film. And I think fan-fiction should take advantage of that, rather than be a pale imitation of what you can do much better with film.
Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2021 2:24 am