ZiziMinuscule wrote:I'm 33. Never had a girlfriend. My all "close encounters" - very sparse - were with escorts and nearly all were very disappointing. All the girls were great and comprehensive, but - as mentioned above - this kind of handicap makes you very shy, permanently stressed and depressed. In consequence, I was basically unable to enjoy these encounters and still feel traumatised.
Psychotherapy and psychiatric drugs didn't work.
I don't believe anymore anything can change for better.
That being said, I encourage everyone with the same "problem" to contact a therapist / psychologist / psychiatrist and to try every opportunity. It's never too late to seek for help. And even if, at the end, You are going to loose any hope, just like me, please, do Your best because the worst thing is to surrender too early and to neglect possibilities of help.
I'm sorry for my poor English.
ZiziMinuscule wrote:Thank You for Your contribution. I think I can feel Your pain. It's very kind of You to start such a discussion about such delicate topic and to share Your personal experience.
When it comes to me, my another "problem", putting aside my phallus dimensions, is the fact I'm obese (and short). You certainly get the cause-effect relationship:
tiny phallus -> no or bad experiences with girls -> poor self-confidence -> a need to compensate -> overeating -> obesity -> even worse experiences with girls -> even less self-confidence -> a need to compensate -> etc.
My self-confidence / self-esteem is inexistant, my life is ruined. I can't stop ruminating all that and don't believe I can change anything. I just don't want to disappoint my mother and to leave my two cats alone. Otherwise, I would probably kill myself.
Of course one can always argue that a man's existence should not get reduced to relationships with women, but 1) it still remains an important aspect of one's life ; 2) I never had any other goals nor ambitions to focus upon.
That being said, as I stated in my previous post, I encourage everyone who is struggling with the same "problem" to seek for help. To surrender is the very last option to adopt.
ZiziMinuscule wrote:Thank You for Your contribution. I think I can feel Your pain. It's very kind of You to start such a discussion about such delicate topic and to share Your personal experience.
When it comes to me, my another "problem", putting aside my phallus dimensions, is the fact I'm obese (and short). You certainly get the cause-effect relationship:
tiny phallus -> no or bad experiences with girls -> poor self-confidence -> a need to compensate -> overeating -> obesity -> even worse experiences with girls -> even less self-confidence -> a need to compensate -> etc.
My self-confidence / self-esteem is inexistant, my life is ruined. I can't stop ruminating all that and don't believe I can change anything. I just don't want to disappoint my mother and to leave my two cats alone. Otherwise, I would probably kill myself.
Of course one can always argue that a man's existence should not get reduced to relationships with women, but 1) it still remains an important aspect of one's life ; 2) I never had any other goals nor ambitions to focus upon.
That being said, as I stated in my previous post, I encourage everyone who is struggling with the same "problem" to seek for help. To surrender is the very last option to adopt.
netzerkaiser wrote:Brother, you are more of a man than most people I've ever encountered. You have to keep the faith. There will be a way, & you'll find it. It might be an idea to take up gentle sports, join a tennis club or something. Or a club that goes on gentle hikes. There are a hell of a lot of good people out there. Thanks for kind response, & wishing you all the best.
ZiziMinuscule wrote:netzerkaiser wrote:Brother, you are more of a man than most people I've ever encountered. You have to keep the faith. There will be a way, & you'll find it. It might be an idea to take up gentle sports, join a tennis club or something. Or a club that goes on gentle hikes. There are a hell of a lot of good people out there. Thanks for kind response, & wishing you all the best.
Thank You for Your kind words and for Your advice. Time will tell.
ZiziMinuscule wrote:Don’t worry. This topic is one of the most serious and interesting topics I’ve ever seen on an internet forum, IMHO. And I don’t say it only beacause I feel personally concerned. You started a serious discussion on a serious problem that is likely to concern many more porn consumers. Last but not least, it’s always interesting to speak about some uncomfortable and difficult subjects – porn or not porn related. One can always learn something new.
1. I had lost 30 kg twice in my life, but it had changed nothing – still zero self-esteem, still no interest from girls. Perhaps I should had lost even more weight.
When it comes to helping vulnerable, I prefer not to go into details, but apart from supporting financially three animal welfare organisations, I took under my wings a vulnerable young person, former sex worker and drug addict, who can always count on my help (economic and psychological). To avoid any misunderstandings, there is no sex involved in this relationship. The person I’m talking about is for me like a younger sister. If we had private messages, perhaps I would say You a bit more about it, but I prefer not to go into details on the open forum.
2. No problem, I think I understood well the content of Your message. It’s true, I’ve no baggage and I’m free from many relationship- or even marriage-related problems and difficulties. That being said, I’ve never wanted to marry. I just wanted to have someone to share my life with. And of course I’m still relatively young. However, for different reasons, I don’t think any female can seriously consider me as a potential partner. I just need to deal with it.
3. I see. Thank You for sharing this episode from Your life. I experienced a similar situation. I’ve been „dating” a disabled girl for several weeks. I liked her a lot and was ready to share my life with her. Her disability wasn’t any problem for me. But after three or four meetings (coffee, cinema etc.) she told me she „wasn’t ready for such a relationship”. What can I say ? I was devastated. I even told myself that „even disabled girls don’t want me” (today I understand that using the word „even” was very mean as it supposed that disabled girls are „worse” than others – and that’s certainly not my opinion).
Thank You very much for this learning and meaningful correspondance.
PS Just to „lighten” a bit our discussion, may I ask You a question about Your nickname ? Are You a Günter Netzer's fan ?
netzerkaiser wrote:Brother, you need start with someone who has a nullifying factor to equal what is in your mind, your own nullifying facor - so this rids you of your feelings of unworthiness.
netzerkaiser wrote:If we had private messages, perhaps I would say You a bit more about it, but I prefer not to go into details on the open forum.
If that comes back Brother, I'll be sure to PM you. I seldom forget people. In meantime wish you all the best! Lovely to have made your acquaintance! I'll leave you with a couple of youtube montages... of Netzer... & Rivelinho, another genius!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7uPXMZNEU0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoiOH3sCemw
dap-addict wrote:Better hard and small than big and limp.
Or working only after 2-3 injections for each fuck!
netzerkaiser wrote:The Alexa Black scene You are reffering to is a pure joy. Putting aside Mike Chapman, who is my all time favourite BBC, I appreciate Russian (Russia-based studios) or Czecho-Slovakian (Gio) studs much more than Gonzo Southern-European monster-cock males. I’ve nothing against Chris Diamond, Potro, Christian Clay, Luca Ferrero and others – not at all – but I just feel some kind of special sympathy for medium/average-dicked guys of Slavic origin
netzerkaiser wrote:netzerkaiser wrote:The Alexa Black scene You are reffering to is a pure joy. Putting aside Mike Chapman, who is my all time favourite BBC, I appreciate Russian (Russia-based studios) or Czecho-Slovakian (Gio) studs much more than Gonzo Southern-European monster-cock males. I’ve nothing against Chris Diamond, Potro, Christian Clay, Luca Ferrero and others – not at all – but I just feel some kind of special sympathy for medium/average-dicked guys of Slavic origin
Theres no need for them to be such sadistic assholes, though, especially what was once affectionally known as "the hogg" 'or 'mr anderson' or especially this fucking Nikolas. Sad guy. Sad sad fucking guy. Ok, guys, you've little dicks. Embrace it, come to terms with it, but don't take your shortcomings out on poor models trying to make ends meet FFS.
ZiziMinuscule wrote:When it comes to the music, one of the greatest hits of Polish rock music is entitled "Kocham Cię jak Irlandię" (I love You as much as I love Ireland). It is performed by the band Kobranocka.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gSroh2XP-0&ab_channel=badmalicious
netzerkaiser wrote:or especially this fucking Nikolas. Sad guy. Sad sad fucking guy.
dap-addict wrote:netzerkaiser wrote:or especially this fucking Nikolas. Sad guy. Sad sad fucking guy.
netzerkaiser wrote:also a bt rooted in Russian patriarchic culture, russian drinking (and eating) habits as well.![]()
You're so right about this. The last time I was in love was 14 years ago, with the most beautiful Russian girl - & she loved me, but her 'social circle' were all ex-USSR, & the drinking parties etc were all based on dominance & subjugation. These guys were so fucking insecure. The 'head-honcho' of this pack was a fat bin-man... I can understand now the siege mentality many of these had (thankfully now, its largely gone), coming to western country & having to work low-status jobs with the lower class indigenous, when they could speak 3 or 4 languages & I can understand their painting everyone of that country with same brush. But I wasn't having it. I gave her ultimatum, come with me or stay with them. She hadn't strength at that time to pull herself away from that whole vodka party club, so I gave her up & my job, & went to Czech Rep for many months to clear my head. Never looked back.
netzerkaiser wrote:Yeah, I went too far alright, but I feel awful that teenagers will grow up on this sadistic side of things, & become normalised to it.
ZiziMinuscule wrote:netzerkaiser wrote:Yeah, I went too far alright, but I feel awful that teenagers will grow up on this sadistic side of things, & become normalised to it.
This is an accurate reproach that, however, could be adressed to every form of violence in every kind of artistic production, especially in modern cinema. The porn is just one among many artistic reflections of modern society.
netzerkaiser wrote:ZiziMinuscule wrote:netzerkaiser wrote:Yeah, I went too far alright, but I feel awful that teenagers will grow up on this sadistic side of things, & become normalised to it.
This is an accurate reproach that, however, could be adressed to every form of violence in every kind of artistic production, especially in modern cinema. The porn is just one among many artistic reflections of modern society.
Brother, I'll back you up, without even digesting what've you've said. Why? Cos you're worth it.
netzerkaiser wrote:The last time I was in love was 14 years ago, with the most beautiful Russian girl - & she loved me, but her 'social circle' were all ex-USSR, & the drinking parties etc were all based on dominance & subjugation. (...) I gave her ultimatum, come with me or stay with them. She hadn't strength at that time to pull herself away from that whole vodka party club, so I gave her up & my job, & went to Czech Rep for many months to clear my head. Never looked back.
dap-addict wrote:netzerkaiser wrote:The last time I was in love was 14 years ago, with the most beautiful Russian girl - & she loved me, but her 'social circle' were all ex-USSR, & the drinking parties etc were all based on dominance & subjugation. (...) I gave her ultimatum, come with me or stay with them. She hadn't strength at that time to pull herself away from that whole vodka party club, so I gave her up & my job, & went to Czech Rep for many months to clear my head. Never looked back.
Sounds traumatic!![]()
This said, story sound sure oversimplifying, because moving to another country is always difficult, the more if a girl is dependent on her BF/hb there. Anyway, I am glad you liked it more in Czech.
netzerkaiser wrote:Wasn't oversimplifying - thanks for compliment. Sometimes you have to take extreme measures for sake of sanity. It worked for me. She moved on too & has good husband & children, so winners all around.
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